Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Simon Magus Campaign
Bishop Beaver College is pleased to announce the beginning of its profile enhancing public campaign named after St. Simon the Great, Bishop of Gitta. An early follower of Philip, there is an account of his baptism in Acts 8.
Simon Magus recognised the pressing need for funding in the early church, and having a good sense of viable marketing strategies, he suggested immediately upon his baptism that the Apostles put their minds to fund-raising activities. Since that early time internal fund-raising strategies associated with the granting of particular ecclesiastic positions have been unfailingly associated with Simon Magus. It is believed that Simon Magus was influential on the early theologians St. Valentinus and St. Marcion.
We at Bishop Beaver College and the nascent Diocese of Seals Island and the Goodwin Sands embrace the zeal for the spirit combined with financial acumen expressed by this early convert and launch our 2007 Campaign under the watchful eye of Simon Magus. We hope that the Simon Magus Campaign will prove a model for church groups around the world to raise Christian awareness and funds without the stifling apprehensions about money that Christian groups have characteristically expressed.
Archdeacon Dr. Edwin Puney has agreed to head this campaign, and he will shortly be announcing extensive plans to expand the number of Canons Peculiar at St. Marcion, the Chapel Royal in Diddlinghoe on Seals Island. By including our ecclesiastical friends from around the world as Honorary Canons Peculiar we hope that the Simon Magus Campaign will snowball into an ecclesiastical pyramid scheme unlike the penny-pinching Cathedral entrance fee schemes floated so far. I am sure that the Simon Magus Campaign will become a veritable paradigm of fund- and spirit-raising in an exchange worthy of its patron.
Prof. Rev. Vera Calico
Vice Chancellor of Bishop Beaver College and
Chair of the British Institute for Life Enhancement
Acts: 8:20. Pecunia tua tecum sit in perditionem quoniam donum Dei existimasti pecunia possideri
Simon Magus recognised the pressing need for funding in the early church, and having a good sense of viable marketing strategies, he suggested immediately upon his baptism that the Apostles put their minds to fund-raising activities. Since that early time internal fund-raising strategies associated with the granting of particular ecclesiastic positions have been unfailingly associated with Simon Magus. It is believed that Simon Magus was influential on the early theologians St. Valentinus and St. Marcion.
We at Bishop Beaver College and the nascent Diocese of Seals Island and the Goodwin Sands embrace the zeal for the spirit combined with financial acumen expressed by this early convert and launch our 2007 Campaign under the watchful eye of Simon Magus. We hope that the Simon Magus Campaign will prove a model for church groups around the world to raise Christian awareness and funds without the stifling apprehensions about money that Christian groups have characteristically expressed.
Archdeacon Dr. Edwin Puney has agreed to head this campaign, and he will shortly be announcing extensive plans to expand the number of Canons Peculiar at St. Marcion, the Chapel Royal in Diddlinghoe on Seals Island. By including our ecclesiastical friends from around the world as Honorary Canons Peculiar we hope that the Simon Magus Campaign will snowball into an ecclesiastical pyramid scheme unlike the penny-pinching Cathedral entrance fee schemes floated so far. I am sure that the Simon Magus Campaign will become a veritable paradigm of fund- and spirit-raising in an exchange worthy of its patron.
Prof. Rev. Vera Calico
Vice Chancellor of Bishop Beaver College and
Chair of the British Institute for Life Enhancement
Acts: 8:20. Pecunia tua tecum sit in perditionem quoniam donum Dei existimasti pecunia possideri
